Seriously…
Dear Purdy Pool Table,
You serve no purpose. All you do is impede in my mobility. You couldn’t be more awkwardly placed. There aren’t many things in this world that I would genuinely enjoy setting on fire, but you my friend are definitely one of them. Please turn into a couch or a regular table or a mechanical bull soonish. Thanks
Dear Purdy Pool Table Users,
You are all a bunch of fucking tools. Purdy Lounge, not Purdy Pool Hall. No one gives a fuck how good you are at pool and yes, everytime you ask someone to scoot over so you can have a “clear shot” they are thinking of gutting your pet ferret (cause only pussy bitches own ferrets and if you’re playing pool at purdy I guarantee you have one named Pixie). And if you’re the kind of Purdy Pool Table User that doesn’t even politely ask me to scoot over and decide to just butt-fuck me with your pool stick; I’m going to fucking choke slam you. Hard. Then I am going to bitch slap you with your own (completely crooked already) Purdy Pool stick and then proceed to telling your girlfriend I fucked you. She’ll believe it too, cause it’s Purdy.
Icely,
Brigitte
